Braving the Wilderness

Braving the Wilderness

2017 was an incredible year of firsts. It’s hard to fathom what could possibly come next. 

As the 2018 show season descends upon us, all too rapidly, I realize I have high aspirations for the year ahead. Not the kind of aspirations that one would make a list out of. More the sort of dreams that one can only feel in the heart. The ones that are hard to put into words. 

As seems to be my theme these days, I finished another book recently. A rather fabulous read by Brené Brown that I’d highly recommend called “Braving the Wilderness”. 

It spoke a lot to how I think I’ve always felt, but never managed to verbalize. She starts out with a great quote by Mary Angelou:

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

I’ve taken what one could say was an unconventional route to where I am now. I didn’t start out in a horse community. I wasn’t raised in a wealthy family. I didn’t go to a school that had many, or any, options. There were 34 people in our graduating class. But we all must find our own way. Joseph Campbell once wrote, “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”

Too often we get hung up in what it takes to fit in. Or try to keep up with every other person we envy. When we got down to California last week, I turned most of my data off for my apps and decided to disconnect from day to day life. It feels so liberating. It was a great reminder how much social media fixates us on one another’s lives. 

Brené Brown presents a definition for True Belonging that really has stuck with me:

“True Belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

Being who we are is I think what scares society the most. To present our messy, irrational, individual selves is scary. Vulnerability to scary in this day and age. To not have a place, friend group, or safety net (even an imaginary one) to belong to can be terrifying. But it’s the only way you’ll truly become you. 

Every day we take steps (some more than others….) that define who we are. Are we going to be a society of followers that “fit” in everywhere we go? Or are we going to brave the wilderness of the unknown and become stronger individuals that don’t need the approval of others?

Most (okay, probably all) of my friends would define me as weird. The nice ones would maybe say unique to be polite. But I don’t know if any of them would say that I fit into a box. I love being the unconventional one that leads the charge. Sometimes I don’t know where we’re charging to, but I do know it’s more fun to be at the front and find out. My current operating title around the barn is Fearless Leader. 

I’ve always thought that you have to be a bit stupid to be brave, but if being “stupid brave” is what it takes to chart my own territory, than I wouldn’t have it any other way. My biggest ambition for 2018 is to become even better at braving the wilderness of this journey I’ve ventured out on. 

“The price is high. The reward is great.”